JESS RAY YOGA

MUSIC. MOVEMENT. MEANING

I am just a curious person, I find joy in exploring my thoughts, I find clarity and healing in writing. I share my writing with a hope to inspire curiosity and healing in others.

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What if we viewed our lives as careers? Invested in our lives like we do in our careers?

This concept came up because I think I read a quote somewhere or this was a quote I’m not even sure but how amazing right? We focus all this time on our career which is great, a lot of people feel super passionate about their careers, they enjoy them and get a lot of from them. I know I do, but in the end it’s only one aspect of our lives. We are not just who we are at work we are sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters brothers, friends, lovers - you get the point. You’re not just Samantha Smith CFO of Jobs R Us, you have depth you are characteristics you are your interests you are how you treat people. 

 

You know I think this came up because I was having a conversation with a friend about moving and how I was scared of losing everything I had built where I was living, I felt I had worked hard to get the time slots I had and become a part of the community that was built by the studio and teachers I worked with. And she said “if you view yoga as this thing that is a part of your life that you’ve delved deeper into and not as your career you’re not losing anything, it will always be with you and you will share what you share with 3 people or 100 people the number of people who show up doesn’t change what you’re doing. You’re more than your schedule and time slots, you want love and a family and you’ll always have yoga cause it lives inside of you but love and family are important and you need to make those a priority.” It resurfaced when I was asked to write out goals for 1 year, 5 year and 10 year, not just for our careers for our personal lives, and health. So the career goals were easy, I’ve had about 10 years out in the corporate world where career goals and aspirations were constantly discussed and worked towards everyday. So when I was faced with setting my personal goals for the next 10 years it felt like I was less ambitious with my life outside of work. And yes my career is part of my life but it’s just ONE part. So I started to think what if we made our overall life what we consider our career? I want to be known for kindness and compassion and love and smiling and laughter, how can I make sure those are things I make part of my everyday life? So I thought about how I could be a more present daughter,  a more understanding sister, a more patient wife, a more empathetic friend, a more committed yogi, overall the best human I could be. It’s not about being “better” or “trying harder” I was all of those things already but my energy and focus was 90% on my career and I was not investing very much in any other aspect of my life. So I want to try and treat others how I hope to be treated and I hope one by one I change peoples days just by their interaction with me weather it’s holding the door, smiling at someone on the street, looking someone in the eye when they talk to me, calling my family just to see how they are, listening with my whole self when talking with a friend or family. Thinking about what I say before I say it, this is how I plan to make my life my career, taking time for myself, reading and watching things that make me think or laugh or even cry. Going on vacation so I can experience rest and relaxation, eating yummy foods so I can experience what delicious and nourishing means, making time for friends so I can laugh and feel love and share my love. I’ve committed to making my career part of my life and make my life as a whole the priority. 


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GUILT is inspiration

As I’ve turned in more and more often, as in - looked internally at myself and investigated me, my feelings my words my actions and their effect on the world I’ve become more guilty feeling. I don’t want this to sound bad the definition of Guilt "is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person believes or realizes—accurately or not—that he or she has compromised his or her own standards of conduct or has violated a moral standard and bears significant responsibility for that violation.[1] It is closely related to the concept of remorse. " I believe we feel this daily if we are awake, aware human beings. I know about 10 years ago I very rarely felt guilty so I know I was just making decisions and saying things without thinking about their effect on others all the time. Of course it’s a problem if the feeling of guilt is taking over your life but it’s an emotion for a reason so instead of repressing it I think it’s healthy to explore it. 

So I guess that’s a better way to put it, I’ve been exploring my feelings of guilt and some things I’ve done create a stronger feeling of guilt than others. I’ve come to understand that the guilt I have allows me to be inspired to make different choices. So I was talking to a friend about a specific thing I felt guilty about and she was telling me I have to move on and release myself from that guilt cause it’s weighing me down. I thought about it for a second and said you know it’s not weighing me down my guilt is actually pushing me to be a better person. I made a mistake, a poor choice, a bad decision and I want to make sure that all my other actions out weigh the bad decision I made. We talked about the word Karma you know, what you put out you get back and I truly believe that. However we all have road rage and say crazy terrible things to ourselves and about other people and make decisions that are not mindful about where we buy food, or what we are eating and where it came from, contribute to pollution and global warming etc, what I believe is that if we use these moments of feeling guilty to inspire a more aware action then I believe our guilt inspires us to stay in check and balanced, isn’t that the best we can strive for? We are not perfect which who even knows what that means, but when we have moments of road rage where we beep and yell at someone or give someone the finger maybe we say "ok calm down, don’t be a dick" and choose to act kind in the next moment possible. No act of kindness is going to undo any of the “bad decisions” but if we can do as much good as we can and believe that it will have a ripple effect than maybe that’s what will give us balance. So my feelings of guilt don’t weigh me down, I don’t think about it all the time but when I do I choose to let it inspire me to act better, speak a little kinder, and allow my actions to be more mindful.